this is me at this current state of mind

yesterday i saw your status that you were finding her with a bit anger as you can't stand for her absence.

you made me pouring out tears..
that's what i don't wanna feel in this time..why can't you wait the right time to break my heart..

aw, this is another November that i was left behind. I don't want to happen another sadness in December.

That's it.. Once you made me clear, everything related about you were buried.
I was reminded of my-long-time-ago healing time as I noticed that i wanted to be with my head up to go ahead in very quickest way.

what else, i don't have anything. i didn't even own any dreams.
that's it, short story, no glory..that's it..

thanks for your reveal. if not, i would keep being drown in your own illusion...
as my friend said, have to forget him by all means. have to be busy with something. have to think other things when i want to think of him, when i want to find him.

aww, this is like another activity that i must have done successfully. ;)

...

I knew that it will happen soon.
I am always feeling the same things whenever this affairs come to me.
Even now, I can guess how it will end.

i feel so shocked of her messages in your fb.
i can guess how far you have already pleased her with whatever!..

You even now don't care in this public posts.

every time, those i supposed to belong are others side in the end unexpectedly.
every time, i am watching, faking my ugly smile, hurting so much myself for long time.

as my friend said, I am easy to love, easy to hate. but I always try to keep promises.

I have really no clue for your sudden good willing. I feel there is something good for you in return for suggesting me this advice?

It is like 'there is no free for anything' motto of your country??

I feel awkward. There is no gain, no loss between you and me.
as usual, I set my goals, i try my best to compete within myself. I have never meant to be your competitor.

Now, it became to turn up-side-down. yeah, may be what you chose was right for you.

the one who always stand your side, listening and supporting even if you are wrong..
I am not that much worthy compared to her.

Else, if you choose her just for your play toy. It would make me upset too for your attitude..

hmmm, i kept saying i have let you go..but still till, i feel like i m holding you. :(

Here again

Life is going on...
People are moving on...
and me too...
Sometime, I need to ignore every single scent of you..
On the other hand, I need to know to have a hint of reasons to leave you.

Now, The real right time seems knocking my heart to listen what's happening.
Yeah, I am not included in your social circle. I know it.
you are faking me and treating me just acting two faces.
I am head over heels for you and your sweet kindness which are in deeds covers of lies.

In reality, I am nothing to you.

I am feeling like i am completely disconnected from you..
I know you are having fun with the girl that i don't like.
I know it's the right time to have dinner together with your favourite foods and talking about me as a biggest fun/news?

they hurts me a lot and they still hurting me. you may not notice that what you are doing is right or wrong. But to the others, it feels so hurt.

I wish i will not need you again.
I really wish that's it and done. Please.